Love amid conflict
Two ICDP trainers, Marina Sklar and Elena Sarachan gave us a brief overview of their activities in Ukraine.
To read click here.
Story of one participant of the ICDP workshop in Lugansk:
The ICDP programme helped me develop a better quality of communication; I am learning every second of my life to give and receive love, using the knowledge that I receive during the ICDP programme. I want to help other people to receive this knowledge, so that they too partake in the care, love and happiness they might have missed out on.
I realized how much I loved my father. As it happened, my father was taken prisoner. On the day when he was taken away, I woke up later than usual in the morning and did not have time to say goodbye to him when he left for work. He called me at lunch time and said that I should quickly pack up and find somewhere to go out of the house. He did not explain anything to me; he just said "I love you." He was away for eight days. And every night, falling asleep and waking up, my mother and I were hoping that he would return.
It is during this time that I realized that there was so much I did not tell him; that I did not hug him enough, I did not show enough love. There were moments when I mentally said goodbye to him, asking him for forgiveness and prepared for the fact that he will not return. Then I hugged my mother even stronger. All the time I was trying to keep busy to make time pass quicker. We were ready for anything, but we were waiting for him. I decided that when dad came back, I would do everything possible to make him happy; him and my mother.
On the evening of 22nd of July, at approximately 22-00, my mother and I sat at the window and just stared at the street. And then I heard a familiar and painfully missed voice. I looked out the window and saw him. "Dad is back," I shouted and ran towards my father. I hugged him, and he hugged me. We cried. I've never seen my father do that before. Since that day almost a year ago, I continue to try to please my parents. A lot has changed. We moved from where we lived before, we lost many loved ones. But we gained love - we had never been able to love like this before.
I believe in the benefits of the ICDP programme. I love and appreciate those around me. Life is not forever.
ICDP participant 2:
When the bombing intensified, we decided to leave home and move to the nearest safe place. Everything happened very quickly. We spent almost a day in the queue at the border. People were scared; we did not know what awaits us in the near future, we were in a state of uncertainty. The main thing was to get away from the war. For the first two months we rented an unfurnished apartment, sleeping on the floor, looking for a new school for my son and I tried to find a job.
This whole situation affected my son. He stopped smiling, and he answered all questions saying: “It's okay.“ The communication between us became difficult, we could not establish a dialogue. I did not know what to do and then I remembered one of the principles of ICDP - follow the initiative. I began to think about things my son was interest in and I noticed that he began to watch online lectures on scientific topics. I decided to ask him to share the link with me and I joined the viewing of the lectures. Several nights in a row we watched and discussed what we saw. We exchanged views. Then my son asked for help with his homework and in spite of the fact that I could not help him to solve all the problems with logarithms, I helped him with a number of course questions. I listened to his oral retellings of his school subjects, asked questions and talked about how the subjects were taught at school, when I was a student.
Our conversations became more and more open. Then one day my son said that he very much wants to go home, to his friends, to his home school; we began making plans. My son began to smile again. It was for me the greatest reward.
I thank ICDP for simple solutions to complex situations.